WOW Mists Of Pandaria Diary

 

 

This is a diary about a new WOW player exploring the latest expansion Mists Of Pandaria. I shall be playing it from the beginning without any previous knowledge of how the game plays, or how the whole online MMO game works. The diary will be a long entry of a days events so you may well want to get comfy before reading, spark open a bottle of panda pops and dive on in. Now on with the show…..everybody was kung fu fighting…

My name is PixelPanda, named this as my parents have stated on numerous occasions that all the good names were taken and their imagination to create a better one failed them. So stuck with a stupid name I set out to Pandaria. I leave my home for the first time and set off to Pandaria, to my surprise the trip is short and after only a few minutes I am on a hill overlooking Pandaria. My mind is blown, for the landscape is glorious and vast. I see beautiful waterfalls, huge trees that look like Bonsai trees on steroids break up the green countryside. I hear music coming from a little village to my left, this is my next objective, get to the village.

 

Upon my journey to the village I come across fellow Pandarians, who are nice chatty people, some creep me out with their whispers of invitations to a secret “guild”. Safe to say I ignore them and carry on my way. I soon find myself at the door of the village, I check my note from mummy and read that I must seek out a Panda called Master Shang X, A great warrior who helped make Pandaria what it is today, now in his twilight years, he trains us young ones up to help keep the land safe. I find him on the highest point of the garden, keeping a watchful eye on his recruits as they train down below. I approach him and before I can say who I am, he tells me he has been expecting me. Not gonna lie it creeped the hell out of me, visions of my nightmares involving a “big brother is watching you” scenario, enters my mind. He speaks again before I can fully go into the fetal position. I have been tasked with showing him what I already know. I go down into the garden to punch and kick a few dummy targets. I walk past a regiment of Pandas all going through a series of kicks,punches and grunts with military precision. It really is quite a sight to behold.

I find the targets and go to work, with my bipping and my bopping and me hipping and me hopping, I show the bag of sand who’s boss. I look over my shoulder to see Master Shang X has a slight smile on his face. This drives me on to do even more beat downs. In my head I’m thinking how will this help me against a live opponent? those thoughts don’t last long as Master wants me to do a new challenge. I am now tasked with burning a secret scroll called Edict Of Temperance. It is located somewhere in this facility, I must use my zen to seek out and burn this scroll. Yeah yeah I thought in my head but I wouldn’t dare say that to master. Instead replying instead with “it shall be done Master”. As soon as hes out of sight, boom out comes my GPS on my phone which puts a handy arrow telling me where to go on my map. Other new recruits have also been given the task which to me kind of cheapened the whole task. I raced to get there first in case its a one time deal. I’m fat and I’m slow and because of these facts I soon learn that the scroll does indeed respawn. I complete the task and return to Master.

Despite only beating up a sand bag and setting paper on fire, Master informs me that I must now enter into a challenge with the eldest student Jaomin Ro. First thought, stupid name. I reply with my now usual response of it shall be done Master and set out for him. Again my arrow helping me to locate this guy. I’m expecting a huge beast of a Panda, I enter the temple that feels steeped in history and mystery, leaving through the back door I then make my way down a huge set of steps. I see a lovely wooden arched bridge over a Lilly pad infested babbling brook. In the short distance I can see a quaint little hut on the hillside with the glorious sunshine beaming over the roof like a huge torch is mounted on the chimney. well if it had a chimney but never mind. I continue on and look all around but cannot see any eldest students? But wait I hear a growl coming from down under the bridge, So I wobble on over and find a big panda, not huge really kind of built like me but he ordered seconds at lunch time as I did not, so just a bit bigger. He tells me hes here to teach me a lesson, with that I hear in my head the street fighter 2 ken stage music playing on loop and I go at him. My attacks prove too fast for him at first but he fights back, causing me to momentarily run away to regain my breath. He starts doing crazy power ranger style high jumps with a devastating stomp move. I soon learn his rhythm and pounce as hes about to jump again. I cant help but feel hes stuck on some sort of predetermined fight path, but what the hell I beat him to a pulp. He admits defeat and tells me I must go and help a Merchant called Lorvo who is having some problems.

So now ive gone from a sand bag smashing,arsonist apprentice,elder student ass kicker to a merchants cry for help. This again needs more walking. I grow tired already of all this plodding around and just want to get out there and fight. This guy better be worth it. I find him stood on a dusty walk way near a huge glorious waterfall looking worried. He informs me that his cart driver has been taken by some “things” things? what aliens? delirious bieber fans? what are these things you speak of merchant? lorvo responds with a description of what can only be described as a creature that resembles the out come of if a gargoyle and a imp had a love child. At first im doubting my abilities and thinking man this is a step up now. But now the guy needs help I’m on a gargoyles quest. I listen out for screams and other weird noises to help me locate them. It doesn’t take long and I soon find myself scaling rocks and dodging trees as I look for the driver. I find him led down on the floor next to a mountain, surrounded by these gargoyle impy things. I go into gangsta mode and start laying the smack down on them, they surround me but I remain unfazed as I punch and kick my way to victory. I land up killing a good dozen of these things. Lorvos driver cannot believe he is now safe and thanks me for sorting them things out. He tells me they are actually called Amberleaf scamps. Haha I blurted as all I could think was that name sounds like a group of run away renegade babies from the local creche. It matters not now as they lay dead by my blade, I say blade its more my hands but blade makes me sound hardcore. I re unite the driver with Larvos who now wants me to track down and return the missing training supplies from his cart.  A thanks would be nice or even a please I mutter as once again I find myself wondering the vast land looking for supplies. Luckily the supplies have some magic glittery dust around them and they stick out from a mile away. Down side I have more of these scamps running around. Not really a downside as they are all pathetic and I vanquish them with ease. It takes a bit longer than I expected to get all the supplies as they really are all over the place. Eventually I am done and I return to Larvos who know decides its a good time to thank me for my hard work. It doesn’t make my mood better, for I have traipsed all over this land looking for glittery supplies and beaten up so many scamps, praying to god that they were not children imps.

I must now return home as night falls and gather my thoughts. I have my next quest ready for the morning. I must meet a female Panda by the name of Aysa Cloudsinger, who has work for me. I don’t know what the task is but I can already guess it will involve a lot of walking then fighting then walking then no gratitude then moving on. Ahh the life of a kung fu panda hey, nothing better….. this is living. Until tomorrow diary, I bid you good night.

Jim Smale

Gaming since the Atari 2600, I enjoy the weirdness in games counting Densha De Go and RC De Go as my favourite titles of all time. I prefer gaming of old where buying games from a shop was a thing, Being social in person was a thing. Join me as I attempt to adapt to this new digital age!

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