Review: Space Cows (Nintendo Switch)

Space Cows

Space Cows is a cheesy twin-stick shooter featuring weaponized toilet plunger and intense zero gravity combat. Shoot, dash and wobble in slow motion to save cows and lay vengeance upon an evil corporation.

Pros:

  • Cartoon graphics.
  • 1gb download size.
  • 2D Shmup gameplay.
  • 3 difficulties–Cheeasy, Normoo, and Hardcow. Determines lives/checkpoints/enemy speed.
  • Tutorials throughout.
  • A lot of fart jokes/noises and cow puns.
  • Actions–shoot, grab, rage, slow moo, and dash.
  • Bonus mini-games like avoid enemies that cascade down or squirt milk into containers.
  • Checkpoints.
  • Finishing a level allows you to start from there going forward.
  • A handful of enemy types including one that looks a lot like a green pen15.
  • Locked in room encounters.
  • Boss fights.
  • Multiple routes.

Space Cows

Cons:

  • Can’t change buttons.
  • Way too many cringe cow puns.
  • Annoying checkpoint pop-ups.
  • No touchscreen.
  • The screen can zoom in and out on its own causing issues.
  • Shooting feels sluggish and not that accurate.
  • The gameplay is slow to build.
  • No real variation in levels.
  • Mini-games are boring.
  • The level design is very plain.

Space Cows

  • 7/10
    Graphics - 7/10
  • 5/10
    Sound - 5/10
  • 7/10
    Accessibility - 7/10
  • 6/10
    Length - 6/10
  • 6/10
    Fun Factor - 6/10
6.2/10

Summary

Space Cows is a shoot em up that bombard you with cow puns and fart noises, it’s a cheap laugh and one that happens once as it is so constant. The shooting feels sluggish and imprecise. Levels are either really empty or really full. Boss battles are just bullet sponges rather than skill-based. Mini-games were a fun distraction at first but then you realize they are not worth the time. It does have a few moments of being a good shooter but they are so far and between. Small levels, sluggish controls, and repetitive level design stop space Cows from being anything but mediocre.

Jim Smale

Gaming since the Atari 2600, I enjoy the weirdness in games counting Densha De Go and RC De Go as my favourite titles of all time. I prefer gaming of old where buying games from a shop was a thing, Being social in person was a thing. Join me as I attempt to adapt to this new digital age!

You may also like...