Review: Goat Simulator


Goat Simulator is the latest in goat simulation technology, bringing next-gen goat simulation to YOU. You no longer have to fantasize about being a goat, your dreams have finally come true! WASD to write history.


  • Good graphics overall, Resembling a Valve Source game in every way.
  • Physics, Top notch and hilariously over the top, Fling lamp posts, boxes and even people across the map. Fall great heights and laugh as you bounce your lifeless carcass over buildings, swimming pools and god knows what else.
  • Huge level but to be honest it is more a playground than a level, you have loads of sections to explore, Gas station, hijack a party out the back, corn field abductions, Its all in there. To keep it a bit more educational, Stone Henge is included and is so advanced that it got renamed Goats Henge!
  • The map also has hidden areas for you to find, Make sure to check every where.
  • Game supports mouse and keyboard and 360 pads. Both work really well, Pad is easier for general messing around but any precise movements are better on the mouse and keyboard.
  • The best addition is the slow motion button. Press it whenever you like and trigger slow mo, Perfect for causing Micheal Bay levels of awesome explosions.
  • Full Steam integration, Everything that can be added by Steam has been added. Achievements, cloud saving, trading cards its all in there.
  • Steam Workshop, Easily browse and download new mods for Goat Simulator, Bit sparse at the moment but there is a pinball game on there and well worth a look.
  • Collectibles scattered all over the land, Collect them and unlock new types of goats.
  • The main story if you can call it that is a free roam style game with a list of quests. There is no story, Just the quests which are things like cause x amount of damage or jump over a trampoline.
  • Aside from the “main” story you can also do free play. Here you can choose to play any of your Steam workshop mods or choose which goat to use. It all lands up linking together and your quests progress will carry over.
  • You are constantly earning points as you trash the world and ruin lives, Every time you hit a certain section you will be greeted with hilarious text slogans.
  • As said you can unlock several new goats to play as. Tall goat, Blue Sonic esque goat and many more.
  • You may be a goat but you can still pick up weapons! Find them in the level and have some fun. Fire baseballs at pedestrians or smash up someones greenhouse. Just one of the handful of weapons you can pick up. Mmy favourite is jet pack or dropping dead goats from the sky but what evs.
  • The game has a game within it and yep its that little flappy f*cker again, This time hes a goat so I present to you Flappy Goat! Still the same premise and available to play if you can find it!
  • Huge waterslide that can be used and is brilliant fun.
  • Side missions can be found and add a lot to the game, I wont give them all away right now.


  • Can get boring after a while and is more of a casual game.
  • Possible to get stuck in places/walls/people.
  • No way to turn off older power ups so you can land up with loads going off at once

Iin Summary, The game is absolutely mental, Any game that sees you go all Falling Down on people as a goat, Has to be worth a look right? Well its so easy to pick up and play, But most of all it is so easy to pick up and laugh your ass off! Yes it doesnt have huge amounts of content and it is very short within reason, But you do not buy a game like this for RPG levels of content. Yyou buy it to do stupid things and this game does nothing but give you the tools and the setting to go nuts. Buy it and prepare to have a mental time.

Jim Smale

Gaming since the Atari 2600, I enjoy the weirdness in games counting Densha De Go and RC De Go as my favourite titles of all time. I prefer gaming of old where buying games from a shop was a thing, Being social in person was a thing. Join me as I attempt to adapt to this new digital age!